It's Over!

Folks, let's just call this what it is.

I'm done.

I love you. Please keep in touch.

"I Started a Blog" by the Sprites

Stuff San Francisco People Like

In the tradition of the inexplicably successful blog Stuff White People Like (soon to be a book, if you can believe it. Chronicle was outbid on this project), I have crafted my own entry to make sense of my fellow denizens of The City By the Bay.

1. Pet Causes. If there's one thing that gets a San Franciscan in a tizzy it's an injustice that doesn't affect their life, the further away the better. In fact, the further the problem, the angrier it makes them. Harvesting soy crops in Micronesia is destroying the endangered gruva moth: make a sign! Kids in Kazjekhistan aren't being immunized against mumps: post agro messages on an online forum! Oh, and they also want their pot vending machines in more convenient locations.

2. Scarves. I've never seen so many scarves as I have in the last six months. Part neck-warmer, part statement that says "I'm cooler than you." It's important to wear rayon-blend scarves, not knitted. The ubiquitous keffiyeh, considered a symbol of Palestinian nationalism, is another must for any self-respecting hipster.

It's important to make this face at anyone not wearing a scarf.

3. The Giants. Apparently some sort of sports team.

4. Hating Gavin Newsom. Who wouldn't hate him? He's young, hot, successful, engaged, rich... What a dickweed.

My mayor is hotter than your mayor. P.S., that's not his fiancee.

5. Hedonism. I've never felt like such a prude as in this city. How could I have never been to a sex club (yes, that is exactly what it sounds like - go to a building and have group orgies. There are separate rooms depending on your fetish: S&M? Guys only? Girls only? Furries?) done drugs, or had a one-night stand? Geez, what are you living for?

You party animal

"But if You Go Putting Up Pictures of Chairman Mao..."

Some photos of the thwarted Olympic torch relay through San Francisco. Originally, the torch was supposed to cross the Golden Gate Bridge, but after protesters climbed the bridge and installed giant FREE TIBET banners across it in anticipation, the route was changed for security reasons. I took a lunch break on Wednesday and headed down to meet some people near 3rd and Market, where the torch was supposed to start its journey through the city.

Effing San Francisco and its pet causes. After dodging dozens of people thrusting clipboards with petitions in my face, asking me if I'm a registered California voter, I still had to make my way through the Darfur people, the alternative energy petitioners, and the anti-war contingent. And of course, thousands and thousands of Tibet picketers.

Policewoman stops to snap a photo with her camera phone

The Olympics and Darfur are inextricably (or is that "inexplicably"?) linked

This multitasker was simultaneously chatting on his iPhone, wearing a bike helmet (because people want to slap him upside the head?) and pants eight inches too short, waving a Tibetan flag, and talking smack to anyone who would listen.

After all that, they ended up changing the route at the last minute - apparently switching it up as they went. So hardly anyone got to see the torch, including press. A great prank on the city's part, especially considering the thousands and thousands of dollars this whole farce cost to execute.

...In Which I Geek Out Over Funny Men

I couldn't be more excited about the upcoming movie "This Side of the Truth" - starring not only Ricky Gervais (who is directing), but also Christopher Guest. Two of, if not my favorite, comedians in the same movie. It's like my dream come true.

Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Jeffrey Tambor, Jennifer Garner, and Jason Bateman have also signed on. It's like an orgy of funny. Although apparently Gervais' character tries to "woo" Garner's character and I find that a bit...ew.

The blog: This Side of the Truth
The man is a bloody genius.

Presidential Support

This is from one of my favorite websites: Slow Wave. The artist, Jesse Reklaw, illustrates peoples' dreams that they send in. In the nature of dreams, they are usually bizarre and hilarious. This one reminds me of my dream I was McCain's escort...

Tranny?

Random man at my work last night - as I'm wiping down tables and trying to close up:

"So I guess this is a one-girl operation, huh?"

*pause*

"You are a girl, right?"

Me: "What kind of question is that?!"